i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She told me I should be a condom model.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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