now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have tasted many bathrooms
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
