Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize