operation harelip BJ is a go
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
