In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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