my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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