There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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