Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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