I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I love having hate sex.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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