Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think my fart just growled at me.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
