I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
This house was built for laser tag.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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