Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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