Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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