I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he was CRYING into my vagina
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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