just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
