I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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