We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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