you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
