Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
