ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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