she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
is it fun? or sober?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
