He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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