I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
