Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
