normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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