Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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