He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
