What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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