i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
