Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
