Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
