You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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