Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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