shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
