well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
