Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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