she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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