if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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