He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
