**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So vagazzling was a success
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