That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
