fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
