very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
