My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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