someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize