Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
