Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
