im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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