You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
