I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
