never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
