you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
