"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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