I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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