I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
