Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
