Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize