don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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