let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
