No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
