listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
love makes seman taste better
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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