My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
