I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
